02-10-05

(Editor's Note: This is about a [wiki:Dungeons_&_Dragons D&D] game played a few years ago by many of the characters here. It includes a brief overview of what is still remembered, and some more amusing commentary at the bottom.)

Start of CrystalQuest

["Kenlow"] goes on a quest to find King Gregor's palace.

He eventually finds it, in a vast barren land to the north.

On his journey there, he encounters a Griffin. ["Kenlow"] attempts to reason with it, but it can't seem to speak his language. This is odd, because one of the languages ["Kenlow"] knows is shared with those creatures.

He ends up killing the Griffin, which plummets to the earth and explodes in a ball of fire, leaving behind a broken core of what appears to be Hematite. (Probably a [wiki:Golem_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 golem])

["Kenlow"] then goes to the palace proper, and fights several guards, which end up being in the employ of ["Salervan"]. He stumbles into the throne room at last to find ["Salervan"], '[wiki:Wormtongue Wormtonguing]' King Gregor.

["Kenlow"] and ["Salervan"] fight, and ["Salervan"] eventually flees, leaving ["Kenlow"] to receive the [:BlueCrystalOfAshiKarna:blue gem] from Gregor in thanks, and to protect it from ["Salervan"].

On his way back to CityOfSeth, where he lives, ["Kenlow"] hides in a cave to take shelter from a violent storm, that ends up being the home of a Giant... who is sleeping in the cave at the time. The Giant awakens, and ["Kenlow"] is forced to fight again.

Upon finally arriving home to his nest, ["Kenlow"] discovers that his nest now has a few sharpened sticks stuck to it... all of which are coated with BlackHeart poison, which is instantly lethal upon touch.

Tracking down ["Salervan"] by scent, ["Kenlow"] follows him to another cave, and runs a sword through him, which he coated beforehand in the same BlackHeart poison. This is the first time ["Salervan"] is killed.

["Kenlow"] decides to keep the [:BlueCrystalOfAshiKarna:blue gem] in a leather pouch, covered with a rag coated with the same poison.

[:ChaosAkili:Akili] joins after, with ["Kenlow"], ["Letara"], and ["Eric"] (["Clairvoyance"]?). ["Sarai"] is the last to join, during a meeting with the elders in CityOfSeth (which elders?). During their last day in CityOfSeth, staying in a bar, [:ChaosAkili:Akili] accidentally summons a giant grapefruit through the ceiling, and [wiki:Queen_(band) Queen] music starts playing from two large rectangles. Everyone commences to get grapefruit juice in their eyes by trying to eat it, even if their faces are turned away.

The following day, the party joins a 3-cart caravan, headed to the [:TowerOfTheWatchers:Tower of the Watchers]. At some point, [:ChaosAkili:Akili]'s [wiki:Wand wand] of [:PrismaticArrow:prismatic arrow] becomes drained, and he attempts to charge it while heading to the tower. (Where'd he get the [wiki:Wand wand] from in the first place?)

One of those attempts to charge the [wiki:Wand wand] causes one of the members of the caravan to turn into Plush. Another incident causes a giant can of Silly_string to spray the back of the caravan, completely burying [:ChaosAkili:Akili] and ["Sarai"]. ("How do you know it was my fault?" The pile shifts.)

During one amazing display of arial acrobatics, ["Kenlow"] lands on one of the caravan roofs and causes it to cave in.

While in the caravan, the party runs across an [wiki:Ogre_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 ogre] and OrgishThrowingDwarf, which briefly joins the party.

When the group encounters the 'road wardens' who stop the caravan, they eat a faceful of OrgishThrowingDwarf for their trouble. The fight also results in the dwarf accidentally being tossed into another caravan cart, causing it to turn into unuseful splinters. A fire is started, most likely courtesy of ["Sarai"], and [:ChaosAkili:Akili], attempting to put out the fire, summons a large slab of [wiki:Spam_%28food%29 spam], which crushes the fire and the forest underneath. It is debatable whether this is an improvement.

During the caravan ride, the group encounters ["Salervan"] again. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] uses his PowersOfChaos ability which, this time, makes him grow extremely tall, and stomps on ["Salervan"], squishing him. No body is found, though. He incidentally destroys the last remaining cart of the caravan in doing so.

Very shortly afterwards, a [wiki:Storm_giant storm giant] steps out of the clouds, and kills the caravan leader. No explanation is logged.

Finally back on foot again, the party heads off into the trees, where it encounters WarHogs, nicklepedes, and a large, but extremely dumb, giant. (DOO BE DOO!) ["Sarai"] can't find a place to hide quickly enough, and casts SanguinaryDeception, which makes her look like a corpse. He seemed to become very sad, and walks away, going straight into the ocean and disappearing under the surface.

While inside the [:TowerOfTheWatchers:Tower of the Watchers], [:ChaosAkili:Akili] tries using his PowersOfChaos again, and ends up with glue skin, where he repeatedly sticks to walls, stair steps, and anything else.

The party arranges travel to an end of the world (they get a ride from someone... on a carpet, perhaps? Memory suggests some kind of surfer-ish dude). They find a pillar that goes way up out of sight, and find an elevator inside. On their way up, they see a [wiki:Phoenix_%28mythology%29 phoenix] flying below.

On the ceiling of the world, the group encounters the ["Mwunga"], where several mean combats result in a few pairs of ["Mwunga"] fur for clothing (["Mwunga"] squidge included), and ends with [:ChaosAkili:Akili]'s voice being swapped for that of a ["Mwunga"]. ["Sarai"] gets the idea to wonder what a ["Mwunga"] mating call sounds like; [:ChaosAkili:Akili] obediently demonstrates. Answering calls in the distance reveal just how dumb an idea that was, and the party moves on quickly.

The party finds what appears to be a shrine that gives hints to being the location of one of the [:CrystalsOfAshiKarna:gems], and finds a chain leading down, through the ceiling of the world. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] [wiki:Tie_dye tie-dye]s a section of chain while waiting for the moon to pass by underneath, and they drop down onto the moon from there, finding a very unique rotating castle.

Something happens to ["Kenlow"], and he loses his memory again. He drops most of his possessions in puzzlement, and they are recovered by the rest of the group. ["Clairvoyance"] dies while attempting to coat one of his daggers with BlackHeart from the soaked rag ["Kenlow"] takes out of his sack. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] picks up the [:BlueCrystalOfAshiKarna:blue gem] and a dead stalk of BlackRoot, which was also among ["Kenlow"]'s possessions.

Party encounters another group; specifically, a dwarven warrior and another ChaosMage. (Clean your teeth!) [:ChaosAkili:Akili] is vaguely surprised to encounter another ChaosMage, but as it makes nothing but aggressive moves, he responds in kind; both opponents are eventually defeated.

While scouting out this odd castle, a wine cellar is discovered. ["Sarai"] takes all of the wine bottles.

A shower is also discovered, with a central water post that crosses a cylindrical stall, so as to work in any circular orientation. While initially probably planning on taking a shower, the group discovers ["Sarai"] swinging naked in a circle around the water post.

While inside the castle, another one of [:ChaosAkili:Akili]'s ["Weirdness"] effects summons a bench, which ["Sarai"] sits down on and starts speaking at length about nothing. ([wiki:Forrest_gump Forrest Gump]). Yet another summons ["Blachlock"], who hitches a ride on a bus that drives through.

After recovering the [:WhiteCrystalOfAshiKarna:white gem] from this castle, they find what seems to be a teleporter on the top. ["Seth"], someone they met inside(?), decides to walk in and see where it goes. He disappears (Roll a new character, ["Eric"]), and after a long delay of waiting, [:ChaosAkili:Akili] takes a chain that's anchored to the castle, and tosses the other end in the teleporter.

Four bolts of energy shoot out from the four matching crystals on pillars at the corners of the teleporter, and the castle turns an ominous magical purple. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] casts ["Leave"] in a great hurry, and accidentally leaves ["Letara"] behind.

The moon is then teleported out of its proper place in the sky in a brilliant flash of purple, and is gone from the world.

The party finds itself on a crewed boat in the ocean somewhere. The crew, taking exception to the interlopers, start attacking. [:ChaosAkili:Akili]'s ["Weirdness"] causes all of them to expel prodigious quantities of methane, with appropriately disgusting noises. ["Sarai"] casts FireBall. The results are predictable.

As splinters of boat rain around the ocean, the party - which was lucky to survive - clambers on larger remains of wood as a raft. ["Kenlow"] attempts to push the raft, and cramps three times in a row, darned near drowning himself. Attempting to get themselves to shore faster, [:ChaosAkili:Akili] casts ["Weirdness"] again.

The party is immediately teleported into an arena, spectated by glowing figures, and they fight a large dragon. Following their victory, the party is sent to a land which seems to be made of shale, and has buildings that come and go overnight. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] acquires 12 CorvinSpice cookies from one shack that dispenses them from a strange mechanism.

["Sarai"] burns down the shack.

The party eventually finds another cave that leads underground, where a large amphibian or aquatic creature lives, and they eventually defeat it, gaining the [:GreenCrystalOfAshiKarna:green gem] in the process. Unknown circumstaces force the group to ["Leave"] again, placing the party in ["Slavak"], which, among other things, possesses people-seeking lava. A shrine to the god ["Kel-Sir"] is found, and while trying to come off as a priest or something, ["Sarai"] is thoroughly ridiculed by the temple leader. The group later manages to make it to a port, and hires onto a boat to travel to [:TelvenOfTheRivers:Telven of the Rivers].

["Salervan"] somehow manages to sneak on the boat the group is on, and makes a successful pickpocket, stealing the [:GreenCrystalOfAshiKarna:green gem] from ["Sarai"], earning her instant and perpetual HATE. He escapes before anyone realizes he was there. When this is discovered, [:ChaosAkili:Akili] casts ["Chaos"] for the first time, although the effects of this are not seen.

During that trip, [:ChaosAkili:Akili] and ["Sarai"] first discuss the nature of their magics.

They also run across the [wiki:Storm_giant storm giant] again, and make a request for the SwordOfLightnings.

The party travels up the [:MistyRiver:Misty River], finding another curious cavern, where they disembark from the boat and head inside. ["Kenlow"] asks [:ChaosAkili:Akili] to turn a section of white cloth deep red, for use as a loincloth. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] becomes distracted and [wiki:Tie_dye tie-dye]s it. ["Kenlow"] is irritated.

Inside the cavern, ["Seth"] (["Eric"] again; a different ["Seth"]... I think) is accidentally killed by [:ChaosAkili:Akili] during combat with flaming eyes (he was not originally going to die, but ["Eric"] decided he'd had enough). At the end of this, one of his effects ends with [:ChaosAkili:Akili] receiving his ["Magic8Ball"]. Progressing further into the cavern, they meet ["Mistyc"], and learn a lot of information. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] acquires the BookOfChaos.

Returning to the boat, the party discovers ["Jenice"], who had stowed away. The party travels up [:RiverLonda:River Londa] to [:TelvenOfTheFalls:Telven of the Falls]. On the way, one of [:ChaosAkili:Akili]'s PowersOfChaos results in him acquiring a Lucky Rock, which he holds a conversation with for a short time.

[:ChaosAkili:Akili] makes money in the city by healing people with the [:BlueCrystalOfAshiKarna:blue gem]. Way to be subtle.

While in [:TelvenOfTheFalls:Telven of the Falls], [:ChaosAkili:Akili] [ChaosMagic:Chaos]-summons the swedish dancing Callicantzari while drunk on dwarven ale.

[:ChaosAkili:Akili] lifts one high enough to smack into the underside of the world.

While there, ["Sarai"] looks to restock her spell components, among other things. She can't seem to find a store that sells bat guano for her Fireball spell, so she holds out a large bag to ["Kenlow"] and says, "Hey Kenlow. Fill this." To which Kenlow at first seems confused, then very annoyed and he refuses. Without having any proper components for the spell, ["Sarai"] attempts the spell with different components. This results in ["Sarai"] inventing a green glowing truffles spell among other things. (A spell somewhat identical to Fireball except that instead of flame, it produced noxious gas)

Party visits [:TowerOfTheMages:Tower of the Mages] (null-magic zone, flaming bedroom, drooling ["Kenlow"], [:ChaosAkili:Akili] kicked out, haven for hands)

Near the [:TowerOfTheMages:Tower of the Mages], they discover a massive tree sitting on waterfalls, and encounters a Roc nesting in it. Sarai attempts to fetch a feather from the Roc, supposing that it would be a particularly useful spell component. She casts invisibilty upon herself and attempts to climb the tree to fetch a feather.

Party follows the plant tubes into the lake adjacent to the [:TowerOfTheMages:tower]. At the bottom of the lake, they encounter ["Salervan"] once more. (Probably resulting in yet another slaying of Salervan)

(Time passes)

Group finds a large castle with a temple, which is occupied by a horde of [wiki:Goblin_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 goblins], a greath swath of which are wiped out by some well-cast ChaosMagic. The group also encounters and defeats a few [wiki:Golem_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 golem]s, and the remains of several others. Making their way to the temple (incidentally, a temple of ["Eryn"] and ["Kala"], although the statues of them had been melted, and turned into a statue of ["Koron"]), they discover that it's been really massacured, and one of the stairways into the cellar had been demolished. While investigating that, they discover a tunnel that leads down to the lair of a red [wiki:Dragon_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 dragon].

The party shortly encounters the red [wiki:Dragon_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 dragon], which is extremely large and not very amicable. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] throws his day's supply of [:SeedsOfGrowing:growing seeds] at the [wiki:Dragon_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 dragon], which briefly entangle it, and the rest of the group flees to the other side of the chamber. Attempting to capitalize on the opportunity, [:ChaosAkili:Akili] tries to kill the [wiki:Dragon_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 dragon] with the sword function of [:ScepterOfEryn:Eryn's Scepter]. [:ChaosAkili:Akili] was extremely lucky to live, and manages to escape just before the [wiki:Dragon_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 dragon] breaks free. The [wiki:Dragon_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29 dragon], as the group never learns, is ["LaVass"], the Flame Lord, a high-level GolemAdept.

["Kenlow"] kills ["Salervan"] for the fourth time, by beheading him and tossing him in the pool of lava.

Party encounters two other CrystalQuest groups, fighting over the [:BlackCrystalOfAshiKarna:black gem]. They wait for a victor to stand out, and promptly dispatch them, acquiring the [:BlackCrystalOfAshiKarna:black gem] for themselves.

(time passes)

Back on the ceiling, for the final battle, the group attempted to place the [:CrystalsOfAshiKarna:five gems] without killing anyone, using the [:BlackCrystalOfAshiKarna:black gem]'s barrier effect... and the last gem wouldn't go in, regardless of the order of placement. Since all the other groups had found there way here by now, the party is forced to defeat them all. The use of the [:BlackCrystalOfAshiKarna:black gem]'s barrier ability in the hands of [:ChaosAkili:Akili] proves most useful, as it gives the party a fighting chance against some fifteen opponents.

The last group to fight is ["LaVass"] and four other mighty dragons, under ["Koron"]'s group (["Koron"] cheated to accomplish this), whom ["Kenlow"] defeats single-handedly.

[:ChaosAkili:Akili] gives ["Kenlow"] a potion provided by ["Eldar"], following the fight, and ["Kenlow"] happily quaffs it to celebrate his victory... and loses his memory again. The [:CrystalsOfAshiKarna:gems] are then placed, the ceiling is repaired, ["Kenlow"] flies off to ["Vortex"], and the next adventure begins.

---

{Events with uncertain timeline placement}

The party eventually discovers ["Salervan"]'s camp, which is very... trampled-looking. A short time after this, they meet ["Moonlight"].

[:ChaosAkili:Akili] transforms the [wiki:Wand wand] of [:PrismaticArrow:prismatic arrow]s he's trying to charge into the ScepterOfEryn.

---

["Paw"] purrs, "["Koron"] kinda cheated."

["Akili"] isn't surprised.

["Paw"] purrs, "Which was fine, because ["Eldar"] knew what he was doing when he picked his group."

["Akili"] laughs. "Sure he did."

["Akili"] makes a gesture from the region of his buttocks.

["Paw"] laughs.

["Paw"] purrs, "Hey, you all worked out rather well for him."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "I'm not denying *that*."

["Paw"] purrs, "Even ["Jenice"] helped a little."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Just that... y'know, he hardly planned it all."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "I'm sure we kept him magnificently entertained."

["Paw"] purrs, "Yeah, that was part of his plan too."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Even when we were destroying parts of the astronomy."

["Paw"] purrs, "But he figured ["Kenlow"] was an ace up his sleeve."

["Akili"] wasn't aware that aces came wrapped in ticking time bombs.

["Paw"] purrs, "And ["Akili"] and ["Sarai"] were serious enough mass-destruction to handle everything else."

["Paw"] purrs, "That's why you were given the defuser."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "It's a good thing [:ChaosAkili:Akili] befriended ["Kenlow"] so well."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Which may cause... difficulties, later."

["Paw"] purrs, "We'll see."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "I did say 'may'."

["Paw"] purrs, "Locking ["Kenlow"] into CrystalQuest kept him from otherwise being a problem."

["Paw"] purrs, "Because of the strenuous requirements of [:CrystalQuest:CQ]."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "True. I suppose I meant difficulties for ["Akili"], if the two should meet again."

["Paw"] asks, "How so?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "It's not as though ["Akili"] has many friends there."

["Calin"] says, "["Sarai"], ["Kenlow"]..."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "["Kenlow"] is probably his best one, and if he's now Chaotic_evil... I'd be very surprised if a later meeting went well."

["Paw"] purrs, "Ah, I see where you're going with it."

["Calin"] says, "["Sarai"] wouldn't want to kill him either."

["Calin"] says, "Maybe she can whip up a mighty spell to make him [http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=980103 stay good sam]."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "["Sarai"]... kind of. I'd put her in the 'extremely good acquaintance' category."

["Paw"] asks, "Really?"

["Calin"] says, "Awe."

["Paw"] asks, "Even after all that talk about the nature of magic?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "That was very good, I'll grant you... but that was about all."

["Paw"] purrs, "She does get a little testy at times."

["Calin"] says, "And the hanging out, and the parts where I did havoc on purpose, and you on accident..."

["Calin"] says, "Well, I suppose."

["Calin"] exclaims, "She's got moxy!"

["Paw"] purrs, "Mostly at things ["Akili"] did."

["Paw"] purrs, "Or ["Salervan"]."

["Paw"] purrs, "Or ["Kenlow"]."

["Paw"] purrs, "Huh."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "I suppose that's the only reason. Occasionally ["Akili"] still gets vibes that she doesn't trust him. While he understands that it's fair to not trust his *magic*, she's never put it that way."

["Calin"] says, "She really hates ["Salervan"]."

["Paw"] purrs, "She doesn't really discriminate, I suppose."

["Paw"] purrs, "That's true."

["Calin"] says, "She likes ["Akili"] and ["Kenlow"]."

The warm calm settles across the shrubs.

["Paw"] purrs, "It's hard not to hate ["Salervan"]."

["Calin"] says, "["Akili"]'s magic doesn't really bother her... she's fascinated by it."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "["Akili"] doesn't like ["Salervan"] either, but it's not in the same blisteringly-hot way ["Sarai"] has."

["Calin"] says, "She does enjoy picking on people though."

["Calin"] says, "Lion-boy."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "True."

["Akili"] chuckles, recalling the incident where ["Sarai"] was swinging in the shower in the rotating castle.

- ["Sarai"] holds out an empty bag to ["Kenlow"], "Fill this."

["Paw"] laughs, "Yeah, that was pretty funny."

["Akili"] thought so, too.

- ["Sarai"] says, "Whee!!!"

["Akili"] considers. "Yeah, I suppose ["Sarai"] really is a friend. Just an... unpredictable one. Which, coming from a ChaosMage, is really rich, I know."

["Calin"] chuckles.

["Paw"] hehs.

["Calin"] says, "Well for a ChaosMage, you're pretty darn cautious."

["Akili"] grins. "It's an uncommon survival trait."

["Paw"] purrs, "I dunno... I think in some ways... she's pretty predictable. Just..."

["Paw"] asks, "Violently reactive, sometimes?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Imagine knowing that casting a fireball in an enclosed space could one day make you twice as tall as the available area."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "After a few close calls, you're cautious or you're dead."

["Calin"] chuckles. "She does everything all the way. She charges in and wallops the biggest badguy with rarely a thought for her own safety..."

["Calin"] says, "Until it is PAINfully apparent that she's going to die."

["Akili"] laughs.

["Calin"] says, "Then she's all about surviving."

["Calin"] says, "When she thinks about ["Salervan"], she HATES him. And will walk through fire to obliterate him until he's deader than dead."

- ["Sarai"] dashes in. "Dervin's Gout of Flame!" *damage damage*

- Enemy retaliates. "Sosh!" *CLOBBER*

- ["Sarai"] staggers. "MeDiC...."

["Calin"] says, "And when she has fun, she does that all the way too. Never mind that the gem is in the castle, or that enemy teams are hunting for it or us. She's going to play on this slide for a while."

["Calin"] exclaims, "And... Ooh! Spell component!"

- ["Sarai"] sneaks up on the Roc, and plucks one of it's wing feathers. "It might not notice."

["Akili"] grins. "Still won't share even a large tent with ["Akili"], though. So much for trust. ;)"

["Akili"] laughs.

["Calin"] says, "She won't? I thought that was more ["Akili"]'s decision."

["Calin"] says, "She terrified him with a few crude jokes when the idea was suggested."

["Akili"] blinks. "Really? I don't recall that."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "I can't picture him being terrified. I mean, he's a different species."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "And as I recall, ["Akili"] and ["Kenlow"] were the ones more likely to make crude jokes."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "["Kenlow"] in particular, of course, but ["Akili"] would sometimes play along a little."